Denmark: Well, the nightclubs at least

Denmark
Den kvinder er hed , den foreninger er sjov og JEG ligne hver anden dag pågældende.

There are only three times in a man’s life when he is allowed to cry:

• If he’s kicked in the nuts;
• If his dog dies; and
• In anticipation of the pain that he will experience on Matthew Oliphant’s stag do.

So with this in mind, Choca and I boarded a flight from Heathrow to Copenhagen. Arriving in Copenhagen it was time to carbo-load before the big weekend ahead, so two hot dogs for me, hotel to freshen up and it was off to hit the bars.

Groom-to-be

Thirty-three phone calls in 2.3 minutes from the 18 guys already in the establishment we were heading to (they got in earlier) and we knew the weekend was starting. Approaching the door we were informed by the bouncer that: ‘most people in there are 20 – 24,’ in an effort to say we were too old – although I still looked younger than everyone else – and it was up the stairs and in. The first thing that struck me was the drinking style. You pay 60kroner (£6) and it’s unlimited beer and champagne. The other option is you buy a bottle of spirits and four mixers for 200 kroner – fun times all round. So several vodkas (Breno – who buys gin?) and the night was starting. Now, when you are a foreigner in a strange land many things are your oyster - mainly coversation. People can pick you out of a crowd and often come up to you to ask you where you are from. Unfortunately for me, I think I have found my origins, and they must be Danish. Most places I looked there was me looking right back at me. Same hair colour, eyes, complexion, etc - damn god looking mob I must say.

The Danes are very talkative, quite flirty, fun to have a laugh with, very approachable and, well, not the ugliest of people you’ll meet. So a good night was had with my exact doubles before back to the hotel at first light and to the hotel bar, which I couldn't believe we had to wait until 9.30am to be served! Contemplating hte day ahead there was not enough time to fit sleep in, so we headed down to the harbour to board a yacht cruise. There really is not a lot to tell you about 20 blokes on a yacht with free drinks, so the less said the better. At least Frank let the locals know he was there.Arriving back in the evening it was time for a quick shower and back out to the clubs. Arriving at K3, thanks to Colourful Bird - one of Ollie’s mates who lives in Copenhagen - we had a reserved balcony/table area looking over one of the many dance floors, many bottles of vodka, rum, red bull and mixes as well as personalised service and the night went well. No more stories to tell for eveyone's sake.

Another sleepless night and the only thing to do was for the remaining group to head to a park for some sunshine and to wait until our flight. Walking through Copenhagen – the first time I actually stopped to look at the city – all of a sudden I started recognising sites and places. It’s a bizarre feeling to look at a statue or Tivoli Gardens and recognise something that you recognise, only to realise that it's because you were in the exact same spot 17 years ago. Then contemplate the state of mind you are in and how much it’s changed from such a long time ago. Time travels pretty quick.

In the end no sleep caught up on most of us at this point so a quick nap on the grass with KFC chicken bones being thrown at my head, roused from my slumber and packed off to the airport, safe in the knowledge that I’ll being doing it all over again in Mallorca, Spain in two weeks.

More photos of Denmark here.