Day 13 & 14 - The sport of kings

After the horrors of Friday it was good to go in to the weekend. A friend of a friend had just bought into a bar in Wandsworth – my town – so off Cam and I trotted to celebrate the dawining of a new weekend. Severla pints and philosophical discussions it was bed time at 3am.

The Saturday morning I had to be awake and down at Clapham Common at 9.30am to get the bus to Epsom with the rest of the boys. Suffice to say at 8.30am there was confusion in the house and I had to power through my morning routine to get ready. At 9.46 Coomba and I showed up to the bus we were ready to head to Epsom for the Epsom Derby – one of the richest horse races in the world.
A 1.5 hour bus ride which involded much drinking and we were in the field. Parking next to all the party buses I realised we were in chav central, with the descitpion: ‘I’ve never seen to many fat burnt people with English tattoos in my life’ bandied around by many.

We spent most of the day having a drinking and eating fest. The sun was out and the chance to tan was there and the bets were a plenty. A special mention to Vice for picking every winner in each race and being the main reason that I ended up £30 ahead for the day.

Epsom is unlike any horse race I’ve ever been to. There are people everwhere, but not in the typical race style. Usually at races you get all dressed up, champagne breakfast, head to the races in style and get boozed on cheap champagne and sweat to death in your clothes. The Epsom Derby is a carnival. There are roller coaster rides, hundreds upon hundreds of tour buses, the course is not a standard racing track (with up hill and down hill stretches), the inside track is free of charge – with live music, rides, food stalls – while the outside has the same, plus more. Oh, and if you want to see a chav, this is the place for it. At least when you go to Royal Ascot the admission is £30 and you need to wear a suit. At Epsom the standard fare seems to be suit pants, belt, dress shoes, no top, burnt to a crisp and be covered in England tattoos.

The bus trip back has been removed for parental discretion – but the girl with the significantly larger right breast and Hoju’s antics will never leave me.

After the fun of Epsom it was back to The Alex to continue on. Now a bus of 80 people was a little too much for the Alex to take, so everyone pretty much stood outside in the still lovely weather. If it was a beer garden, that would be fine, but it’s the footpath, next to the bus station, so it was only an hour or two until we went our separate ways. Mine was to Bison Bar with Macca. The next bit is a a little hazy. However, two hours later I was at a house party in Brixton knowing no one and convincing people I worked for Radio 1 (think Nova FM) and my job was to go to house parties, find the best one and give the organisers a free trip to Ibiza. Went down a treat. About 6am I looked around at the remaining 15 or so people in the kitchen and thought, wait a second, isn’t there usually a random at house parties who doesn’t really know anyone…then I realised I was that random, so I quietly snuck away. I wonder if they think they are going to win that trip to Ibiza.
Sunday was a usual Sunday session. Kasi calling me at midday roused me from my bed and asked me what I was doing today. Bumming around the house until 5pm was the standard Sunday response. ‘Well we’re going to the Lighthouse in Batteresea’ was what I got back. That gave me three hours on my own before I had to go to the pub. So slipping on a DVD of ‘The Departed’ I relaxed for a few hours. Oh my god, what a great movie. Up there in the top three movies for me, behind Fight Club, The Game and now The Departed.

Another Sunday session at the pub followed on. These are great days. I usually have a sore stomach from the laughter at these sessions. The laughter and the red wine I guess. The barman usually seems a little confused when you walk up to the bar, ask for a bottle of red, and only one glass. I’m just ordering a straw next time.

Kasi and Matty moved on to Gigalum to continue the party, but I, making the smartest decision in some time, having not eaten all day and drinking ‘just a tad’ decided to struggle my way home.

Bed by 11pm and it was ready to face Monday.

Epsom photos and videos here.