Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Bacon Butty 2

Heading off to work on Tuesday morning not even the fact that the train drivers on my line had called a strike could sink my mood. So while I had to walk, catch a bus, walk, catch a tube followed by another tube to get to work (5 miles in 1.75 hours).

A historic long weekend, which involved the Clapham Demons beating the Hammersmith Magpies by 26 points to advance to my first senior Grand Final, a huge rave/ festival followed by a mate DJing at the after party, catching up with an old friend from Aus and general excess on all fronts, my body was ready for a bacon sarny!

I was still cheery by the time I arrived at London Bridge... until I tried butty number two!
The issue with my little experiment is that bacon butties will vary according to the state your body is in and you need to calibrate it for the experience, according to my esteemed colleague Donald Johnson. After much thought I happened to agree with the wiseman. How many times have to gone to the gym and when you’re finished, a bacon butty full of grease isn’t what you are really thinking. But wake up with a hangover that would make Peter Doherty think twice about substance abuse and you can’t wait to get stuck in to a little bit of Babe on a roll.

So with my body calibrated to take the butty on, I noticed a little sign near a dingy, dirty café near London Bridge telling me I was about to enter sarny utopia.

“Arrogant buggers aren’t you,” I whispered to myself. I like that.

So in a walked to get my £1.50 roll.

Bacon butty 2
Dinko & Co (Railway Walk, London Bridge, EC4r)

“One bacon roll please,” I slobberingly drooled at the man.
“Ya wan sarn sars,” (you want some sauce) he spat out.

Oh, a Northerner – they’re known for the skill with the butties.

“Yes please,” I eagerly responded.
“Whyte, rad or bran” (“white, red or brown” - Mayonnaise, tomato, HP or BBQ) he asked.
“Tomato,” and we were off.

One was un-impressed by the portion size firstly. What can only be described as a dinner roll with a light serving of bacon and a much heavier serving of tomato sauce was presented before in a mangy paper bag. Now, I hear you all saying: “Bart, you are god damn sexy”. And I have to agree, but after that I hear you saying: “Bart, you only paid £1.50, what were you expecting,” and it is a good point. However, Benjy’s bacon butty was £1.95, twice the size, three times the ingredients and came with a coffee.

While the bread was actually quite nice, the tomato sauce was tart, the bacon salty and over cooked, and there was no butter. Best Bacon Roll my arse. Best bacon roll in the strip of three shops next to London Bridge station – maybe – as I’m sure the newsagent next door could throw me a newspaper, call it a bacon butty and it may be a little better. Two Miss Piggys Dinko and Co, pick up your game.